Four weeks today!! Amazing to think that four weeks ago I was still in the middle of being operated on! I'm so glad to have made it to this point!
I just got a really sweet package with, most importantly, chocolate chip cookies from a teacher I worked with last year, with the note, "for when you're better." Does she know me, or what?
Last week was a tough time. I knew I wouldn't be eating for six weeks, but I really thought I'd be able to get back into my life, sans eating, after just a few. I wasn't anticipating that I would still be stuck at home at this point. I was getting really down, so on Friday my mom dragged me out to errands with her, which included Joann fabrics.
There I was, browsing the Christmas goods, when I notice a little boy staring at me. Now, I try to avoid mirrors these days, so I hadn't checked out my smile at all. I'd been compulsively checking people's pictures and seen that, for the most part, they can smile pretty well after a week or two. And I've smiled (or so I thought) in the past few weeks and felt like it was somewhat of a decent smile. So I smiled at him.
He burst into tears.
So, naturally, I ran off, got the keys, went, sat in the car and looked to see what was so terrifying. I can't smile. It looks more like a grimace that probably says to a four year old, "Yeah, I totally AM about to eat you!" which kind of freaks me out. Everyone else that I've seen looks really good at this point! Why am I still making small children cry??
Well, other than being a menace to society, things are going okay. I've found that blended up spaghetti with lots of sauce, mashed potatoes, smoothies, and blended up hot and sour soup can totally make a complete diet. Oh, and peanut butter. Which almost feels like my mouth is working, because I used to eat peanut butter off a spoon before all this!
I had been numb up to my eyes, now I have almost full feeling back down to my mouth. My mouth is starting to have some feeling, but my chin is still completely numb. My speech is still pretty impossible to understand. And I'm still hoping to get some pictures up- they go onto my computer and just disappear! So I'm hoping that those that are still saved on my camera can go up sometime soon.
Tomorrow I have my 4 week appointment, I'll let you know how that goes!
Man, I know how you feel. I had a similar reaction from an adult (see my most recent post). I am not sure which is worse. But it's not a great feeling. I guess these things take time. My mom keeps thinking I am crazy to expect my face that was broken in several places to just magically heal in just a few weeks. Not to mention the doctors keep saying it will take time. So, I guess we just need to try to be patient, huh? And we need to keep realizing who cares what anyone else thinks. This is for us and so that our jaws and teeth would come together and finally work properly. And I am sure when it is all said and done we will look gorgeous as well. At least, I hope!! :) Anyway, it's good to know at the very least that I am not the only one with these worries. It sounds like we both have been going thru the same type of things.
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